Misadventures of Dr. K – Idaho’s Ultimate Cabinet of Curiosities

How did I end up at Idaho’s Mammoth Cave and Shoshone Bird Museum?

In my travels across the US, I’ve passed numerous “roadside museums”. These are always so run down it’s questionable if they are even operational. The entrance often features a large, faded, crumbling outdoor animal statue meant to attract the interest of children and fuel the nightmares of adults. I am quite fond of having my organs inside my body, so I’ve never stopped to explore one of these establishments – until now.

I generally make a detailed itinerary for my vacations, and this recent trip to Idaho was no different. The itinerary is the operating plan, but it can always be thrown out the window when better opportunities arise, or mother nature interferes.

Even in the desert, it does rain from time to time. When it does, this is actually a very dangerous time to embark on hiking adventures. The ground is not well equipped to absorb sudden influxes of water, resulting in quick moving flash floods.

I’ve already had a few desert mishaps, and didn’t want to add to the roster. When a storm front moved in during one of my planned hiking days in Idaho, I had to pivot plans and look for an indoor activity. This day in my schedule I planned to drive from Sun Valley to Twin Falls, with some hikes along the way. I scoured Google Maps for alternative activities along the route. The ID-75 corridor was essentially 2 hours of desert nothingness, save for two of these fabled roadside museums. The options were the Shoshone Ice Caves or Idaho’s Mammoth Cave and Shoshone Bird Museum.

Looking at the online photos and reviews, both had elements of sketchiness, but surprisingly positive recent reviews. No one mentioned fearing for their life or it being a total scam, so I felt bolstered with optimism, A bird-nerd at heart, I opted for the bird museum in hopes of learning more about the local wildlife.

Getting to the museum

Leaving the glorious Sawtooth Mountains in my rearview mirror, I headed south. The landscape through my windshield wipers quickly transitioned from alpine lakes to arid horizontal stretches of sage brush and cheatgrass. After just an hour’s drive, the GPS alerted me to turned onto a dirt road amidst a vast stretch of desert desolation.

Immediately, I encountered a sign warning not to traverse the road in rainy conditions. Earlier in this trip I had attempted 2 different hikes with trailheads at the end of long dirt roads. Both roads ended up being so treacherous and rutted my rented Chevy Malibu started bottoming out and I had to turn around and abandon the attempt. This sign induced flashbacks and my anxiety began flaring. I parked in the middle of the road for a moment to weigh my options. The road looked fine, but so did the other ones I had previously started down. Emboldened by having already made a good decision for the day by not going hiking in the rain, I decided to risk it all and carry on to the museum.

The road was muddy, but otherwise fine. After serval twists, turns, and dodged potholes I eventually wound my way to the museum entrance. I was the only car in the parking lot.

The Sight, Smells, and Sounds of Idaho’s Mammoth Cave and Shoshone Bird Museum

The entrance

The “Cave and Bird Museum” name already sounded like an interesting pairing, but little did I know I was bound for the most eclectic “museum” experience of my life. I wouldn’t exactly say it was false advertising, but I got a lot more than I was expecting.

Upon exiting my car, I first smell, and then see, the welcome party of a dozen or so peacocks freely roaming across the grounds. The males strut around with their tail feathers on full display. I make my way to the museum entrance, watching my steps along the way to avoid the freshest piles of guano.

I creep into the entrance, still fearing for my organs and unsure if I am even in the right place. The lobby is dimly lit and a pungent, musty scent overwhelms my nostrils. As I gaze around my surrounding, the scene mentally transports me back to the farmhouse of my antique-collecting grandfather. Towers of miscellaneous ancient “treasures” cover every surface, emanating that infamous perfume known as eau d’old person.

Just as I am considering scrapping this adventure, a chipper voice welcomes me to the museum. A completely normal looking man emerges from behind the desk. He recommends I complete the cave tour first and then explore the museum at my leisure. The restrooms are the port-a-potties in the parking lot. Enjoy!

There’s no turning back now.

The cave

After I pay my $15 entrance fee, the clerk hands me a lantern and shoves me in the direction of a dark hole in the ground. I am cautious to step over the red bucket in the middle of floor collecting leaking rain water from the roof. I wind my way down a short outdoor dirt trail to the cave entrance. The “Fallout Shelter” sign and eerie green hue around the entrance build confidence that this is a totally safe endeavor.

There is no tour guide and no lighting within the cave. It’s just me and my lantern in the dark chasm. The cave is actually a lava tube, a remnant from the explosive recent geological history of the region. I navigate the uneven path, casting my lantern beam side to side to marvel at the patterns and geological history written on the walls. I feel like Indian Jones, and prepare for booby traps or ancient spirits to launch an attack at any moment.

The cave itself was quite neat. A handful of educational signs give nuggets of history about the cave and insights into its formation. Underground lava flowed through these tubes as recently as 2,000 years ago. Today, mineral deposits and cyanobacteria streak a patchwork of colors across the cave walls.

The path into the cave is relatively short, about a quarter mile, but the ominous environment made it feel longer. I was the only person in this unlit cave. At 42 °F (5.5 °C) year round, there is a perpetual chill in the air. Drops of water periodically drip from the ceiling, creating an echoing plunk when they reach the cave floor. Just to make things hard on myself, I keep looking behind me into the absolute void of darkness my lantern cannot penetrate.

Thanks to years of watching Unsolved Mysteries as a child, I’ve maintained an irrational fear of paranormal activity into adulthood. As the initial awe of the cave begins to wear off, my uneasiness with the situation increases. I make it to the end of the marked 1/4 mile path, and quickly turned around to scurry back to the entrance.

Just before emerging from the cave I cast one final glance behind me to ensure no ghosts followed me out. “I’m safe! I’ve made it!” I foolishly think to myself.

My anxiety not yet dissipated, I take my first step back into the glorious light of rainy day.

Before I can breath my first sigh of relief, I am assaulted by a sudden, ear-piercing wail. Imagine a giant ape imitating the cry of a human baby. My heart rate spikes as adrenaline courses my veins. I frantically scan in all directions to locate the creature that is sure to be my demise. Perched atop a nearby shed, I discover the culprit. A male peacock on the roof peers down at me, continuing to belt out his terrifying call. I am unsure if I’ve startled him, unknowingly entered into his territory, or if he find my colorful raincoat sexy. Regardless of his motives, I reassure myself I can take him if he tries to start any funny business. Not keen on confrontation, I bustle past him back up the muddy dirt path to the museum entrance.

The museum

Crisis averted and cortisol levels dropping, I return my handheld lantern to the clerk. He directs me to embark on the next phase of this adventure, exploring the “museum”. The museum building is essentially a giant yurt, with 3 concentric rings of display cases. I can already see every nook and cranny is stuffed with…stuff. Like a hoarder decided to just slap a museum sign on their house and charge an entrance fee for the public to see the spectacle of their home.

Every few inches, placards warn that the premises is under constant video surveillance. You are not allowed to touch ANYTHING. More colorful buckets are sprinkled intermittently across the winding walkways catching roof leaks. This is Indiana Jones part II, where I’ve survived the lava cave of doom and am now navigating the hopscotch board of peril. One wrong move, one accidental trip over a bucket, and you will inevitably touch something that triggers the released of poison tipped darts. I tread lightly.

I was expecting to see birds at this bird museum, and they did not disappoint. Numerous taxidermized bird specimens inhabited glass cases, hung from the ceiling, and bedecked the walls. A few had simple paper placards indicating the species, but most did not. I used my bird sleuthing skills to take educated guesses about what I was looking it at.

Much to my surprise, the museum contained significantly more than just birds. The museum collection continues into another nearby facility with a more reliable roof. They must have felt like something was lacking from the overall experience, but just couldn’t quite put their finger on the missing element. What followed is a monument to their stick-to-it’ivness in trying to capture just the right vibe.

Perhaps what this “cave and bird museum” needs is a Nazi flag. Or maybe a Native American canoe. Or perhaps some African masks, displayed with a taxidermized pufferfish and woodpecker.

Why stop at pufferfish, might as well stuff the whole animal kingdom. We need bears, and wolves, and deer – things people would expect to see in Idaho. We should probably also get a lion, alligator, and giraffe, just to round things out. Raccoons get a bad rap, so we need one of those too, but make sure it looks friendly and approachable.

We can’t have just regular animals though, we need something to draw a crowd. How about a 2 headed calf?

Everywhere you look, there is something new and unexpected.

Dinosaur bones ✅️
Pottery from the time of Jesus ✅️
Native American arrowheads and jewelry ✅️
Old wagons and farm equipment ✅️
Buckets to catch water dripping from the roof ✅️
Some small creature scurrying and squeaking within the walls ✅️

This is a truly unique collection I certainly was not expecting to find in the middle of the Idahoan desert.

Where did all this stuff come from?

Every direction I looked my eyes are confronted with those of another questionably preserved animal. Various objects on display are labeled as dinosaur bones, but it’s unclear who in this establishment had the authority to certify such an artifact. How could this completely indiscriminate collection of artifacts come to be?

When I can’t take anymore, I head back to the entrance with the friendly clerk. He asks if I have any questions. Boy, do I have questions. I settle on a politely phrased, “So where did all these items come from? It’s quite an eclectic collection.”

He replies “Oh yeah, its a lot of random stuff.”

I flush with relief that neither of us had to continue the charade that this is a normal place.

He gestures to a photo of the founder, Richard Arthur Olsen, who passed away in 2019. All signs point to him being…different…from the start. From a young age Olsen was an avid outdoorsman and began collecting arrowheads, butterflies, and small birds, which he eventually planned to display is his own museum. As a high schooler in 1954, Olsen discovered the cave while hunting bobcats. The cave and his natural collection combined and grew over time as Olson continued to collect more and more specimens. Most of the animals on display he hunted and preserved himself. Creepy as some of the things may be, it really is an impressive collection and visual display of a life’s work.

Should you visit Idaho’s Mammoth Cave and Shoshone Bird Museum?

There really is something for everyone here. If you find yourself in South-Central Idaho I think it is well worth the $15 entrance to get one of the most unique experiences of your life. I didn’t lose any organs, mostly avoided the rain, and got to explore a lava tube. I don’t know that I’d go out my way for this place, but it’s certainly worth a stop to break up a long drive. In the off chance you are filming a horror movie, this would make an incredible set.

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